Editing Example 4

I was honored to be asked to edit a document for a Catholic Sanctuary in central France. Upon its completion, the sisters sent me a kind note saying (translated from the original French) “You have corrected the booklet A Pilgrim Guide for English-speakers. Your work was precise and professional down to the last comma. Thank you for having us rewrite the Biblical references in correct English as well. We are very grateful for your assistance that was given so gracefully.”

The booklet was translated from French and contained many of the typical errors one might find in a document translated by a non-native speaker.

 

 

Original text My corrections
But a jubilee is not that a look on the past; the enjoyment which we are invited to enjoy Laus is the one of present, inhabited and invigorating one. A present in which the Lord tells us, by Marie: ” follow the way of Laus “. Take this direction(management), indicated by Indicated by the Mother of God to join his Son in a meeting which opens to the others: ” to the Lord, by Marie, towards the others “. A path(way) of conversion. Again, a jubilee is not just a look on the past. The enjoyment of this jubilee which we are invited to partake of at Laus is of the present, it is inhabited and it is invigorating. This jubilee is a gift to us through which the Lord tells us through Mary: “Follow the way of Laus “. Take the direction shown to us by the Mother of God to join her Son in a meeting which is open to all: “To the Lord, through Mary, towards all others.” This is the path of conversion.
You Thus all exult, who be lucky enough(have the opportunity) to have come to Laus! For a few hours either for several days, on pilgrimage or in a session, in family or in parish, only or in couple you walk on an earth(ground) today on which the millions of pilgrims walked(worked) before you, during the last 350 years. You are thus all exalted: Those who are fortunate enough to have the opportunity to have come to Laus! For a few hours or for several days, on pilgrimage or in a session, with your family or with your parish, alone or as a couple, you walk today on the same ground as that on which millions of pilgrims have walked before you throughout the past 350 years.
Benoîte is living with the hope through the gift of herself. She spends the nights praying for the salvation of the souls, intercessing for the sinners. “There is a form of prayer which spurs us particularly on the gift of ourselves for the evangelization, it is intercession ” (EG nº 281). We may observe with her attitude a true spirit of an evangelist, filled with the love for God and her brothers. Pope Francis emphasized: “if something has to preoccupy and worry our conscience in a holy way, it is that so many brothers are living without the force, the light and the consolation of Jesus Christ friendliness” (EG nº 49) Benoîte is living with the hope through the gift of herself. She spends the nights praying for the salvation of souls, interceding for sinners. “There is a form of prayer which spurs us particularly on the gift of ourselves for the evangelization: it is intercession.” (EG nº 281) We may observe with her attitude a true spirit of an evangelist, filled with the love for God and her brothers. Pope Francis emphasized: “If something has to preoccupy and worry our conscience in a holy way, it is that so many brothers are living without the force, the light, and the consolation of Jesus Christ's friendliness.” (EG nº 49)
During 54 years, when appearing, Mary kept on developing Benoîte's virtue of patience and corrected her often on this point. For instance: “on March 26th, God's Mother told Benoîte for having not accepted the defects of her sisters, she would not visited her during two and half months. It showed that She saw her very often and wanted Benoîte to be patient” (Manuscripts of the Laus) During 54 years, whenever she appeared, Mary continued to develop Benoîte's virtue of patience and corrected her often on this point. For instance: “on March 26th, God's Mother told Benoîte for having not accepted the defects of her sisters, she would not visit her during two and a half months. It showed that She saw her very often and wanted Benoîte to be patient.” (Manuscripts of the Laus.)

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